


After All

by shortbutnotcake



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Acceptance, Best Friends, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Fights, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-22
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2019-01-03 22:21:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12155985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shortbutnotcake/pseuds/shortbutnotcake
Summary: Michael has been acting aloof ever since he saved the school from the Squip. When Jeremy calls him out on it, Michael kicks him out and says he wants to end their friendship. Jeremy knows something is up with Michael and tries to figure it out. He has to fix things before it gets worse.





	1. Are We Still Friends?

**Author's Note:**

> Heere's (hah get it) my first try at writing Fanfic! Thanks for reading, guys!

                               After all that they had gone through, Jeremy was surprised that Michael wanted to hang out with him again. The Squip had caused so much damage that Jeremy was unsure about how they could remain friends. Sure, they played video games together again, but they no longer joked around and teased each other. The only sounds in the basement were the sounds of enemies being blown up on screen and the music bleeding from Michael’s headphones.

  
                              Jeremy glanced over at Michael. Ever since he took care of the Squip incident at the play, Michael was rarely seen without his headphones on. Even when Jeremy came over and chilled in the basement with him, Michael never took the damn things off. He had enough. Jeremy paused the game.                                                                                                                                                                                 
“DUDE WHAT THE F---“                                                                                                                                                    

  
“Michael, are we still….friends?” Jeremy winced at Michael’s raised voice.

 

“WHAT”

  
“Fuck it,” Jeremy batted the headphones off Michael’s head, “Are we still friends?”

  
“Yeah, sure. Can we play the game now? There are only five more levels that need two players in order to progress.”

  
“No, Michael! I haven’t talked this much to you in three weeks! I feel like maybe….maybe you don’t want to be friends with me anymore.”

  
Michael snorted and turned away, “It’s not like I’m avoiding you at all costs.”

  
                 Jeremy looked guiltily at Michael and turned back to the TV screen. He had no idea Michael could hold a grudge for so long. The longest he ever held a grudge against Jeremy before this was the four days in middle school when Jeremy forgot what day Michael’s birthday was on.

  
“Listen, Mikey, I’m sorry about what I did to you when I was Squipped. If I had any idea how I would treat you with that Squip activated, I would have never even thought of taking it. But it’s over now. I’m not going to avoid you unless you want me to. I promise.” Jeremy lowered his eyes to the ground.

  
“Good. Leave.”

  
“Wha--?” Jeremy looked over at Michael.

  
                            Michael had turned back around to glare at Jeremy. If Michael’s eyes hadn’t been filled with tears, Jeremy would have just ignored Michael’s command, but Michael had never gotten so angry he cried. Not even when Jeremy accidentally fell and broke Michael’s ultra-rare, see-through Gamecube.

  
“Just fucking leave. I’m sick of trying to pretend that everything is fine. You took that Squip and left me COMPLETELY alone, Jeremy. I had no other friends besides you. While you were running around with your new, popular friends, I spent weeks crying alone and hoping you’d go back to being my friend again. And now, I don’t even want you as my friend anymore.” Michael’s voice wavered, but he just glared and let the tears fall to the floor.

  
“I’ll leave…..But if you need me—“

  
“The only thing I need now is my music. Now fuck off.” Michael wiped some tears with his sleeve and huddled into his beanbag.

  
                     Jeremy slowly got up and walked to the basement door. He turned around and saw Michael curled up in a ball on the beanbag, with the music once again blaring from his headphones. Jeremy winced at how he was leaving his friend but continued on his way. Maybe eventually Michael will cool off and they will be able to be friends again. Yeah, Michael just needed some time is all. Jeremy walked to his house and ran up the stairs to his room. Finally, after slumping down onto his bed, Jeremy buried his face into the pillow and wept.

  
                     This was the worst fight he had ever had with Michael. Sure, they had squabbles now and then, but Michael never kicked him out of his house before. This and the fact that Michael hadn’t texted him about whether he arrived home safe yet made Jeremy worry. Maybe his best friend was serious about not wanting to be friends anymore. Jeremy took a deep breath and let the tears flow silently.  
He could get through this. It would be really hard, but he could do it.

 

* * *

 

 

                         Michael waited for the front door to slam and got up to turn the TV off. He stared into space for a bit, letting the smooth Marley songs blaring from the headphones calm him down. After his tears slowed down and his sobs quieted, Michael went upstairs to the kitchen and grabbed some snacks. His mom always told him it was a bad idea to eat when you were upset, but at this point Michael didn’t care.

  
                         He scuttled down to his basement with arms full of snacks and sat down in his beanbag chair to watch some old TV shows. When he was young, and before his parents got busy with their jobs, they all used to sit down and watch shows like The Twilight Zone, One Step Beyond, and Doctor Who and order pizza. While his parents were too busy now to care about the old shows, it still made Michael feel better to watch them whenever he was sad.

  
                                   Michael woke up at 3:00 AM to a really bad stomach ache. It was a painful reminder that his mom was right to warn him way back then. He sat up from his beanbag to turn on a light and glanced around with embarrassment. Two family-sized chip bags lay empty by his feet, a 2-litre bottle of soda sat half empty to the side of his beanbag, and several types candy packages were scattered around in various states of emptiness. Fuck.

  
                                    He stood up slowly, gathered the bags that were empty, and went into his bathroom to throw them away in the trash. Turning to leave, he caught sight of his reflection in the mirror. He leaned in close and squinted at his face. Of course Jeremy would want new friends. Who would want to spend time with a fat, ugly stoner? Michael leaned closer to the mirror. A stoner with the beginnings of a bad acne breakout, too. Michael sighed and stepped back into his room. Old episodes of The Night Gallery were playing on the TV, so he must have fallen asleep during the final few episodes of One Step Beyond. He remembered eating some Whoppers during an episode with a lady in a train station, but that was all he remembered before he fell asleep.

  
                               Turning off the TV, Michael eased onto his bed and tried to go to sleep. He turned over to look at the ceiling, thinking about how he could get his stomach to calm down. Eating so much junk food was a mistake. Usually he would be fine, but with how upset he was and how much he ate, he was starting to feel sick. Michael got his music out to distract himself and promptly fell asleep.

 

* * *

 

 

                          Jeremy stretched and yawned. Playing hooky may not have been the best plan for his grades, but it did wonders for his mood. He was so busy crying, he didn’t have time to stare into the dark and worry about the Squip coming back and taking control of him while he slept. Jeremy looked at himself in his phone’s camera and fixed his hair. Wow, crying yourself to sleep sure gives you really bad bags under your eyes in the morning. Jeremy looked at the time. It was about eleven in the morning, so he got up and went out for a walk. Usually he’d go to Michael’s house and play video games, but…. that wasn’t really an option anymore. He walked around the neighborhood and found a nice little café on a street corner.

  
                             A bell jingled merrily as he walked in, and he glanced around. The place was empty aside from a few elderly people sitting down with their coffee. He looked up at the menu and noticed that the small cashier below it looked extremely familiar…

  
“HOLY SHIT JEREMY WHAT’S UP??!!!” a voice that was unmistakably Rich’s shouted from beneath the pale blue visor.

  
“Uh, hey, Rich! Life could be better… You work here?” Jeremy leaned down a bit to see Rich’s face beneath the visor.

  
“YEAH DUDE!!! JUST STARTED FOUR DAYS AGO!!! JAKE’S PARENTS OWN THE PLACE AND OFFERED ME A JOB, SINCE JAKE AND I ARE ‘SUCH GOOD FRIENDS’!!!” Rich’s visor shook a little as he belted out his words in joy.

  
“Oh, that’s great! So, um, could I have a Frappuccino with extra espresso shots?” Jeremy glanced around at the elderly in the room, who seemed undisturbed, despite all of Rich’s noise.  
“ALL RIIIIIIIGHT, TAKIN’ IN THE CAFFINE!!! SURE MAN! IT LOOKS LIKE YOU COULD USE IT” Rich shouted as he got the drink ready.

  
“Well, when your best friend never wants to see you again, it’s pretty likely you won’t sleep very well.” Jeremy muttered.

  
“WHAT DUDE???” Rich glances at Jeremy, “Oh shit, dude…..I’m sorry….Here, this one is on the house. Let me finish making it and I’ll be ready to chill out and see what’s up.” Rich immediately calms down.

  
                          After a short while, Jeremy is sipping a very bitter coffee and Rich is clambering onto the bar-stool next to him, muttering about shitty tall people and their extra-long legs. Rich sits and thinks for a bit, looking into the air as if there were some answers there.

  
“So, did you guys fight?”

  
“Michael has been acting strange since he solved the Squip problem, and when I asked about it he kicked me out, saying he didn’t want to be friends anymore.” Jeremy stirred his drink bitterly.

  
“Whoa… That’s pretty serious….Was he crying?”

  
“Yeah….Why?”

  
“Oh shit dude, you need to fix this. Back when I used to bully him, there was this one time when I picked on him, and it must have been a touchy subject, because he burst out crying, yelled at me, and ran away. The rest of that year he made my life a living hell. When he didn’t react no matter what I did, I felt bad for him….I even worried about him for a while…..After that I left him alone.”

  
“How did you make him cry?”

  
“Oh, uh…..In 8th grade I may have….Called him a fat-ass during lunch and everyone heard me and laughed at him….”

  
“THAT WAS YOU?! HOW COULD YOU??? HE STOPPED TALKING TO ME FOR A WEEK THEN BECAUSE OF YOU!!!”

  
“I’m sorry, I had no idea he was that sensitive about his weight….It’s not like it makes him ugly though…Whoops, ok, totally being Bi, now, totally Bi.”

  
“No, Michael isn’t ugly at all! In fact I think he’s cu---some GIRLS would think he’s cute.”

  
“Riiiiiiight.” Rich grinned as Jeremy scowled at him, “but you really should fix this. Michael doesn’t think right when he’s really upset. He could do something really stupid.”

  
“How can I fix this?”


	2. Word Spreads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy tries to take a break from it all, while Michael is forced out of his house. Rich is like a fucking therapist for these boys I swear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo guys I'm starting to get into this! I'm so ready for chapter 3 and if I were Rich I'd add this emoji: >:3 But I'm not and I regret doing that. Anyways, thanks for reading!

                   Michael woke up and groggily stumbled to his feet. He never went to school much anyways, so why not skip another day? Michael looked for some stuff to do to pass some time. He could play videogames all day, or get high, and then play videogames all day. He sighed and reached under his bed for his stash of weed. Just as he was rolling a blunt, his phone lit up with a text.

CrispyCannoli: Dude why aren’t you and Jeremy talking? Rich just told me you don’t want to be friends with Jeremy anymore? Like, dude, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING??? Honestly, I’m a little upset that I have to take a break from rehearsal and text you, but this is a big deal, Michael. I’ll text more after rehearsal is over. Just know I’m disappointed in both of you. VERY disappointed.

                      Michael groaned. Christine was a nice person, really, but she wants to be a part of any sort of drama in any form. There is also the fact that she is Jeremy’s girlfriend, but Christine was too kind and bubbly to hate for long. Michael read the text again and grunted. How did Rich find out about all this stuff? Jeremy doesn’t talk often enough with Rich for him to find out THAT quickly. Michael pouted and opened another chat on his phone.

  
                  Michael: what the fuck man Christine is bugging me because of you

  
                 RichBitch: Ha HA my boi! Das whuts up! Im sicka u being a tuttle. Get outta dat house befo I slam dunk yo ass outta there! Hooty-hoo my Boi! Meet me @ Jakky boo café in 30

  
                 RichBitch: Boi Toi has already left da houz

  
                 Michael: rich can you please just translate that to Michaelspeak its too early for this

  
                 RichBitch: fine, youre no fun! i thought Christine should know so i told her. I want you to leave your house you’ve been in ther for six days now or ill make you get out so meet me at jakes café in 30 minutes and be as awake as possible. Jeremy was here but he left already.

  
                RichBitch: also. dude. its four in the afternoon. not early

  
                Michael: fuk ok ill be there soon. better get free coffee out of this

  
               RichBitch: not a chanz me boi! >:)

  
               Michael put the blunt back in the stash under his bed and went to the bathroom to get ready. He looked in the mirror and checked his hair, made sure his hoodie was still clean enough to wear in public, and grabbed his phone and headphones. Five minutes later he was out the door and on his way to the café.

 

* * *

 

                           After a long talk with Rich about relationships, girlfriends, and life in general, Jeremy was back out on the town. He was surprised by how many shops were near his neighborhood. There was a small pet shop, a bookstore, and several clothing stores scattered around. Not wanting to bump into anyone else he knew, he avoided going in the stores and found a nice city park. There were trees surrounding a web of park trails, several ball courts, and a big playground crawling with small children. A gust of wind blew through the trees, and Jeremy stopped to enjoy it. It was cool and humid, hinting at a rain that was soon to come.

  
                           Walking to the playground, he watched as several parents scrambled around after their kids. It was a comical sight, really. Tall, blundering giants each following their own little ninja monster past rope bridges and plastic green slides.

  
                           He smiled softly to himself and wandered over to an old, squeaky tire swing. Although his feet dragged on the ground as he sat in it, it was the best swing he had ever been on. He stared up into the old oak tree that held him and the swing and thought about what Rich had said. He, the best friend of 12 years, had never noticed Michael do anything stupid while he was upset, so how could Rich notice? Maybe Rich was right. Maybe he should have spent more time with Michael instead of Christine.

  
                          Jeremy let out a sigh and rubbed his face haggardly. Why did relationships have to be so difficult? After the Squip, it seemed like he had all the friends he could ever want, but then Michael pushed him away, and now it seemed like the only real friend he had at the moment was Rich. Jeremy closed his eyes and relaxed in the dappled shade of the tree.

  
                        “Jeremy? What are you doing here?” A shadow loomed over him.

  
                       “Minding my own business. What do you want, Brooke?” Jeremy was not in the mood for awkward conversations.

  
                       “Jeez, sorry. I just wanted to let you know that you are swinging right over an ant pile.”

  
                      After a lot of hopping around frantically and checking for ants, Jeremy calmed down again. “That’s the worst possible place for an ant pile.”

  
                      “Well, that’s why no one ever uses this swing. Too much risk involved.”

  
                       “Why don’t they just get rid of the pile? It’s a great swing otherwise.”

  
                       “Those ants just rebuild it again and again no matter what; the park committee I signed up for knocks it down once a week.”

  
                       “Ok, that’s… interesting…..But, why did you come over here to talk to me? I figured no one I knew would be here.”

  
                        “The committee meets at the park every day at 4:45. Today I got the short stick, so I’m on pile duty.” She holds up a can of bug spray and a shovel in heavily gloved hands.  
“Huh, well…..Good luck….see you around, I guess.” Jeremy waves and shuffles away, leaving Brooke with her park duty.

 

* * *

  
                      “Yo, Michael!” Rich waves frantically from behind the counter, “My shift is over soon. Grab a seat!”

  
                      Michael gives him a halfhearted grin and flops into a large, cushioned chair, “So, no free coffee, huh? Gonna make the poor stoner pay for an expensive cup of energy?”

  
                      “No, Mike! Don’t give me them puppy eyes, you know I can’t take that!” Rich glances over, “Well, shit. If this keeps up, I won’t get my paycheck Saturday. One free coffee, coming up.”

  
                      Five minutes later, Rich is in the other cushioned chair in front of Michael, sipping his own coffee and winking at Jake, who had just started his shift. Michael looks down sadly at his cup of coffee. Damn, why do good-tasting things have to be so unhealthy? He looks back to Rich, who was now staring at him with a strange look on his face.

  
                     “Hey, no worries, bud. That’s a Mocha Latte with fat-free cream and natural sweetener. I know that stuff bothers you sometimes, so I made it as healthy as I could. Although, I think you are healthy for your body type. You don’t need to worry ‘bout calories and all that.” Rich smiled gently.

  
                      “I wish I could believe you, Rich. But I look at people who are like you, or Jake, or even Jeremy and then I look at myself, and I get disgusted with how I look. I’m not exactly the fittest person out there, you know.”

  
                      “Dude, you don’t want to be like Jake, or anyone else, trust me. Sure, Jake’s got a pretty face and a nice personality, but he is SO bony! Like, one time I tripped and fell on to him, and I LITERALLY GOT A FUCKING BRUISE FROM CRASHING INTO HIS HIPBONE!!!”

  
                      “RICH STOP TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT!!! THAT HAPPENED ONLY BECAUSE YOU WERE FLIRTING AND DECIDED TO TRY AND LEAP INTO MY ARMS! ‘TRIPPED AND FELL’ MY ASS!” Jake hollered from beside the cash-register.

  
                       “Ehehehehehe!” Rich cackled evilly, “but seriously, dude, I’ve had at least three people tell me you are cute, and you have no IDEA how much I hear in the hallways at school about your ass. Like, seriously, dude. And I’M the pervert?”

  
                       Michael grinned, “Well, you just aren’t very good at hiding it yet. You should take notes from those people in the hallway. They really talk about ......it? I’ve never heard a word anywhere about ......my butt.” His face started to turn red at the last statement.

  
                       “Okay, enough about your butt, Michael Mell. I’m sure it’s great, but you look like a tomato right now, bro. You good? ......Okay, so, we got the giggles out, you’ve got a nice cup of coffee, and Jake is thoroughly exasperated with me. Now’s the time to tell me what’s goin’ on, dude. I’m worried about ya.”

  
Michael took a deep breath, struggled, and failed to blink back his tears.


End file.
